Sunday, August 26, 2012

The beginning of the end

So, I'm nearing the close of my time as a personal trainer.
I have very mixed feelings about this.
As you know, I love being a trainer. I enjoy working with my clients, and helping them improve their lives. I've worked with some wonderful, amazing people over the last year, and am grateful to have had the opportunity to do so.
On the other hand, I've felt like a fraud. Not that I don't know how to train people, because I do. But many of the people who work with a trainer do so to help manage their weight.
And here I stand, 5'10" and 255 lbs of personal trainer. I know that I'm not what they have in mind when they decide to work with a trainer.
And so, in some respects, I feel a sense of relief. I'm going to try to find something that lets me feel more true to myself; and lets me continue my personal struggles with my physical limitations (and trying to accept them) in private. I'm tired of trying to explain to new and potential clients why I'm a good trainer, even though I'm fat.
I'll miss being a trainer when it's all over. It has been a positive experience, for the most part. I'm glad I did it.
I'm definitely looking forward to the next adventure, though.

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