Dancers Gotta Dance

Do any of you former dancers ever do any dancing now?
I do. I have to. I'd go crazy if I didn't.
I know some of the girls I took dance classes with as a kid did it because mom thought it was good for them; or they liked it for awhile, but then got bored with it. Not me.
The best part of my day was standing at the barre, doing plies and tendus and warming up before going across the floor. Standing in line waiting my turn to practice turns and jumps was the most exquisite torture.
When I hit puberty and my body crushed my ballet dreams by growing hips and breasts and shooting up a head taller than everybody else, I was devastated.
All I had ever wanted to do was dance. Ballet was my first true love. I fell head-over-heels at four years old, and never looked back.
Oh, I flirted with jazz and tap. They never had my heart though.
As a teen, no boy could have ever compared to the siren song of the dance studio.
An injury took me off pointe when I was 15. I cried for days. I never did it again.
But I still danced! When I went to college at 22 I danced four hours every day, wanting to become a choreographer. At 23, a high-risk pregnancy side-lined me again. I gained 100 pounds (you read that right!).
I was sick and depressed. Worst of all, I couldn't dance! In fact, it took me 5 or 6 YEARS before I did any kind of dancing again.
In my early 30's I tried to take a Modern class, supposedly for adults. I stood in a room full of 16 year olds knowing I would never be able to keep up.
But then I discovered something that changed everything for me.
Belly dancing.
That's right. As a fat, middle-aged mom, I took up belly dancing.
The music spoke to me, just like it had all those years ago in ballet class. I could do the steps. I fell in love all over again.
It's a good thing I did. I don't feel alive if I can't dance. It makes me a better mom, a better wife, and a better trainer.
Belly dancing isn't a cure-all, but as long as I can dance through my life, I can handle just about anything.

Being Happy

So, I haven't lost any weight. I have started lifting heavier, though. I love how it feels when I see the amounts I'm lifting go up.
My body is big, and it's strong.
The few health issues I have are completely unrelated to my weight or bodyfat percentage.
I've said for a long time that I want to look better when I turn 40 than I did when I turned 30. Well, I have two years, but I already look better. Not because I'm thinner - I'm not.
I look better because I've realized that no matter what I weigh, I deserve to take care of my body. I don't need to be thin to eat things I love, I don't need to be thin to smile when faced with a camera, and I certainly don't need to be thin to be happy.
So I'm going to continue working out hard, eating guacamole (and sometimes cake), and building a happy, healthy life for myself and my family!